That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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