Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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