well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
