Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
