So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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