would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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