so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My vagina is officially offended.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
