first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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