I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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