She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
