I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
