He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
