do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
