I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
