Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
