yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
