whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
