She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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