Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
