Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize