I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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