Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize