Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
