i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
