my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
