is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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