Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
