Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
