I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
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Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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