i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
