You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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