I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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