She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
