...so i touched it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
