I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
