You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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