The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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