i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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