I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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