what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
