You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
