Will you blow on my dice?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize