Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
