you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
