hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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