I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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