Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize