You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
