she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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