It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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