shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
