what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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