Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
