Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
