girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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