If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
