A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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