I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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